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Charles Shaw

by Nannette Eaton on April 18, 2009

“Every time you drink an inferior bottle, it is as if you took a fine bottle and smashed it against a wall.  You can’t get that bottle back!” — Len Evans

Wine Biohazard


So much for Wine Harlots doing shiny happy wine reviews.  We tried to be all cheerleader super-positive; but our inner-bitch won the battle (it wasn’t much of a struggle, actually).  Sorry, mom!

Life is too short to drink bad wine.  “Two-buck Chuck” shouldn’t be put in your mouth, let alone ingested.  If you look back at our prior columns, it’s clear that we Wine Harlots don’t have a bias against value wines; we have a bias against shitty wines.

When this first came out seven years ago, we tried it, and were traumatized.  For the sake of research we gave it another go.  We tasted the zinfandel and the merlot.  It doesn’t take much to get us to finish a bottle of wine.  We didn’t even want to finish a glass.  It was so foul descriptive words failed us.  Our tasting notes, were “yuck” and “you’re kidding, right?”  We sampled again four hours later and the following day.  The next day the wines were marginally better, but still undrinkable.

Wikipedia indicates “the affordable Charles Shaw Chardonnay wine beat out 350 other California chardonnays to win the double gold at the 2007 California State Fair Commercial Wine Competition.”  If we were better journalists we would have tried the chard, but a Wine Harlot has limits, and this was ours.

The alcohol content was 12.5%.  Cork closure.  The wine is produced by Bronco Wine Company who brag that they produce 55,000 cases of this wine a day.  The purveyor of this liquid is our friends at Trader Joe’s.  The price is $2-4 USD, but Wine Harlots recommend buying lottery tickets instead, you’ll have a higher probability of getting a winner.

The music selection is “Freeway” by Aimee Mann from the album @#%&*! Smilers.  If you’re stuck with a dud of a bottle, you need to have great music.