Happy Bitch :: Lucky Bastard

by Nannette Eaton on February 9, 2013

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“Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman’s got to hold on to.” ― Stephen King
happy bitch sparkling wine bottle shot1 Happy Bitch :: Lucky Bastard

“Farewell, bastard.”  ― William Shakespeare
stone lucky bastard lukcy basartd ale1 Happy Bitch :: Lucky Bastard

How about a Valentine’s Day tale? Where a Happy Bitch meets a Lucky Bastard and they live happily ever after? Dream on dumbasses. This is the real world. You only get a happy ending if you pay for it, and even then it’s fleeting. (Yeah, I did a gross sex reference – sue me). Can you tell Valentine’s Day is not a favorite Harlot holiday? Sloppy sentimentality and the whole bullshit pairing of chocolates and red wine? Barf. It really does drive a girl to drink. Heavily.

Which brings us to the topic at hand. Happy Bitch is a rosé sparkling wine from the Hudson Valley, New York, created to pair with the self-help chick-lit book Happy Bitch. God knows why I agreed to sample it, and as soon as the bottle arrived on the doorstep, the Happy Bitch PR machine sent relentless emails inquiring when coverage would be forthcoming. When HELL FREEZES OVER, was the snarky response in my head. With the heavy snowfall on the Eastern Seaboard this weekend, it’s close enough.

Priced at about $13 USD, Happy Bitch is squarely targeted at the “book group” consumer, which is ok, but it really limits itself to casual female wine drinkers. The wine itself is a pleasant surprise, as after the PR deluge I dug in my heels and was determined not to like the wine, just for spite. But like it I did. It’s a shocking bright Schiaparelli pink with lovely strawberry notes and nice acidity. Of all the pricey wines that were uncorked in the Harlot household last year, one of the male housemates still keeps talking about how good the Happy Bitch was. Go figure. (He likes it! Hey, Mikey!) Not thrilled with the marketing, but Wine Harlots are all hearts and roses for Happy Bitch, a quality sparkler and a best buy.

Enough with the bitch and bastard marketing already, it was attention-getting in 2000, tired in 2005 and dead-on-arrival in 2013. Lucky Bastard is a seasonal selection from the Stone Brewing’s Arrogant Bastard series. And it’s spelled “Lukcy Basartd” for the drunk or illiterate. It’s a blend of Arrogant Bastard, Oaked Arrogant Bastard and Double Bastard, and with the 9.2% alcohol it was a little bit of “illegitimate bastard” for my palate. The boys love this bottling, but I’m sticking with the flagship classic Arrogant Bastard. The Lucky Bastard is out of stock, but I’m sure the Stone Boys will be letting the bastard out for another appearance. When they do, it’ll run you about $8 USD for a 22 ounce bottle.

For all you happy bitches and lucky bastards, Happy Valentines Day from the Wine Harlots.

pixel Happy Bitch :: Lucky Bastard
share save 256 24 Happy Bitch :: Lucky Bastard

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Mika Douglas February 9, 2013 at 9:33 pm

It would seem that with such cleaver marketing they stand alone. They are indeed trying to capitalize on a niche were “Tunderbird” and “Ripple” have dared to trod.

Thanks for your humor, its all that I value here.

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